Skip to main content

What do children of helicopter parents look like as adults?


In short, they crack-up when their parents die!

My husband has a cousin, who was raised by two helicopter parents. Sad, sad, tale. She was brilliant! They put all their time and attention into their beautiful daughter since the DAY she was born! She could walk early, talk early, & poop in the toilet early.

Straight A student all through school, as a teen was told to ignore boys because they were only after one thing (she complied, as she had since birth). She never had a date and has never been kissed. And, she never had any girl friends or associates.

Went to a great college and got a great education! Did I mention she was brilliant!

She did everything (only) with her parents, lived with her parents, her dad drove her to and from her school and her work, for her entire life. She lived in a bubble of protection created by her parents.

The parents message: achieve in academics, get a good job & succeed; the world is a scary place and we must protect you.

She was a lovely person, who was sweet, kind, soft-spoken and gracious.

She got a job teaching at a well known university, she was so brilliant in MATH she WROTE text books and invented math formulas!

THEN THE CRASH: Mom & Dad got old, they died. Mom first.

She wouldn’t let anything in her room be touched, down to the dirty panties on the floor.

She began sleeping in her mother’s bed.

Soon after, Dad died. Their beautiful home went into complete dis-repair.

She cracked up! She broke ALL the family china out of the china cabinet, and whatever else she could grab that represented her happy past-life.

She started sleeping in the car. She stopped bathing. All she wore was black.

She started begging for money from people outside the local grocery store.

They tried to fire her from her job, because she came to work looking like a smelly bag lady. They could not however, because she had tenure.

It’s been years since her parents died, and she is still “not right.”

If there is a lesson to be learned for parents: DO NOT DO THIS TO YOUR CHILDREN!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

7 WAYS for achieving your purpose

 CHOOSE YOUR DIRECTION make use of free will.   Jesus and the blind man. Why does Jesus ask him what he wants when it is obvious he want to see? Choose area (learning, marriage, finance, friendships) of importance to you, and make 3-10 goals. What measurable  and compelling goal is possible? Set the goal, and then you have the direction. Reticular activating system: it helps you find whatever you are focusing on.  E.g. Search for blue items. Okay, how many purple items are there? you don't know. Because you only focus on what you look for. Your brain gets excited and get power the moment it knows what direction it is about to take. Decide  your exact deadline when you will achieve it. Also, ascertain what you want to sacrifice . (time/money/patience/difficult situations) The price will be  "Where there is no vision, people perish"-Solomon  CHOOSE YOUR REASONS Do you have insight to yourself? Be a person of deep water, look deeper. Introspect. What...
  A quiet place Lit umbrella Empty at times At others Tripping with wires White light Once Bright burning flavescent Yellow and crumpling in its notes. Then the umbrella folds. Another takes its place. Life in the Dark Room.

Conflating the liberty of freedom and burden of choice, and finding the balance in between

"...the individual ceases to be himself; he adopts entirely the kind of personality offered to him by cultural patterns; and he therefore becomes exactly as all others are and as they expect him to be...The person who gives up his individual self and becomes an automaton, identical with millions of other automatons around him, need not feel alone and anxious any more. But the price he pays, however, is high; it is the loss of his self." -Escape From Freedom by Erich Fromm, first published by Holt, Rineheart and Winston, New York, 1941. http://www.alternativeinsight.com/Escape_from_freedom.html and then comes the question many strive to answer; what do we risk to lose when we are already in an individualised state of mind? Even more, i think. The attraction of the self makes it even harder to conform, whilst the pressure for conformity never ceases—in fact the pressure exponentially increases—staring you down through that bright screen all day and for most of the night. Freedo...